lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
