Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
