Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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