Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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