Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
