just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
