im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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