I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
