maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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