the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
