Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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