Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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