No stitches, just platelets and will power
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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