You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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