ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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