Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
