I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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