I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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