Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
