so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
