You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
