I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize