is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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