So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
