apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
