i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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