but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
