I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
