Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
