Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
