No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
