Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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