I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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