clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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