whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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