We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
