Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
