And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize