I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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