On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
