if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
