I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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