I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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