Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
where are my eyebrows?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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