Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
