the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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