I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
