She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
