What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
