I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
