Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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