Umm I'm too high to move.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
are you so shy because you have an std?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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