It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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