He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
