So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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