Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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