bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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