Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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