butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you mean i was at the winter classic?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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