We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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