I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
