We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
